Meg (mega_g) wrote,


in exactly 37 days, i will be driving south and i will not be coming back (for a long time, at least).

it is becoming increasingly hard for me to be excited about this.

i spent my whole life saying that i wanted to live in north carolina. well, now that wish has been granted.

i created a new england "bucket list" of things i wanted to do in the area before i am no longer a resident.

in the last 2 months, i have been reconnecting with old friends, visiting old haunts, and drowning in nostalgia.

it makes me sad to remember how happy i was.

i visited cape cod this weekend and my heart swelled with the beauty of the place. i wish i had loved it more and taken more advantage of it when i lived there for 3 months, when i visited there every week for 2 years. now it's too late. i went to some of my favorite places and also discovered some new favorite places and i spent time with people who i let drift away for far too long.

but now what?

in a few weeks, i will be visiting dartmouth/westport for a final goodbye and i'm sure i will be flooded with the same sentimental feelings.

i have to keep reminding myself that i am the one who creates and controls my happiness. i have to keep telling myself that i can be happy anywhere, that i can learn to love new people and new places as deeply as i have loved new england. and if i can't, i can always leave. i can come back.

i know these things, but they're hard to remember.
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